Friday, October 14, 2016
ATTENTION TRUMP SUPPORTERS
I am an amoral, vicious, diabolical bastard, a veritable demon like prick, and I spend my idle time dreaming up clever methods to cause trouble for those individuals who do not believe in freedom of speech by using their own laws against them.
Here is a great way to make money for yourself. simply go to a shopping mall with a friend while wearing a T shirt or hoodie that shows your support of Donald Trump, and walk about but do not loiter. Be certain that you make several purchases of cheap items, and wait for someone to assault you, which is probable, considering the odious political atmosphere of today.
Instruct your friend beforehand to record the encounter on his or her smartphone, and if security guards to not detain the assailant for arrest by the police, then you can sue the shopping mall. Further, you may be able to sue the shopping mall even if they do detain the assailant, for not protecting you and for allowing criminal thugs to walk about in their establishment unfettered. Do be careful, as you may end up with cuts, contusions and other injuries, even broken bones. That, and falling to the floor in agony before your friend's recording smartphone can only increase the payout, especially if you exaggerate your injuries by requesting an ambulance to take you to the Emergency Room for treatment.
It may take several trips to various establishments to accomplish your task, but eventually, someone will take a poke at you, and then you can look forward to your bank account balance increasing exponentially.
Do not be obnoxious, and do not provoke the assault. If assaulted, try to keep yourself from fighting your assailant. Once the situation is resolved and you arrive home, have your friend put up the video on You Tube, Facebook, Twitter, et cetera, naming the location you were harmed, showing how you were an innocent victim viciously beaten by an intolerant hater. This will elicit sympathy from viewers of your video.
Once the owners of the shopping mall or other establishment become aware of your actions, they will settle out of court, be certain that you sue them for at least a million USD; that should garner you around one hundred thousand dollars, at least, after giving your shyster a cut of the dough, of course. If they insist on fucking with you, take them to court, once the jury views the video, you WILL become rich.
Another possibility for making money in this fashion is to choose a clerk at the checkout that matches the profile of an anti-Trump individual, and wait for them to refuse you service - that is discrimination, and is against the law; it violates your civil rights, equal protection and all that happy horseshit. Again, if refused service, record the incident, do not protest, and then leave. Head to your local shyster, and have him file a lawsuit for you, which could garner you the sum of five to ten thousand dollars. they will pay you off just to get rid of you, and save themselves from negative publicity.
Remember also to never discuss the situation with anyone other than your lawyer, do not brag that you deliberately set about to cause a conflict - that will create negative publicity regarding YOU, and can cost you any award that you may have received. Succinctly - keep your fucking mouth SHUT, and once you receive your check, make your way to the BANK!
Take your hard-earned money and then put it in the market, buying hard commodity equities like HL, SLW, MUX, and SSRI, along with, of course, Goldcorp (GG).
I, of course, assume no responsibility if you are killed in your quest to be assaulted, but look at it this way - your surviving family will become rich!